If someone close to you has young-onset dementia, you may be called a 'carer'. But you may think of yourself as their partner, parent, child or friend.

Your relationship with them is still important. You may also need support as you adjust to the changes dementia can bring.

This page offers advice on supporting someone with dementia and looking after your own health and wellbeing.

Dementia can affect memory, communication and everyday activities. You can help someone stay independent while making sure they feel safe and supported.

Helping with memory problems

You may find it helpful to:

  • Give simple information, one step at a time.

  • Repeat information calmly when needed.

  • Use calendars, notes and reminders.

  • Keep important items in the same place.

  • Follow a regular daily routine.

You can find more ideas on our Living well page.

Helping with conversations

Someone with dementia may find it hard to follow conversations or remember words.

You can help by:

  • Speaking clearly and using short sentences.

  • Giving them time to respond.

  • Reducing background noise, such as the television.

  • Offering simple choices.

  • Including them in conversations and decisions.

Try not to test their memory. For example, instead of asking 'Do you remember David?', you could say 'Here's David, your nephew'.

Read more about communicating with someone with dementia on the NHS website.

Responding to confusion or distress

Sometimes a person with dementia may remember things differently or become upset or confused.

Try to:

  • Stay calm and listen to their concerns.

  • Focus on how they are feeling.

  • Offer comfort and reassurance.

  • Avoid arguing about things they cannot remember.

  • Look for anything that might be causing distress, such as noise, pain or tiredness.

If someone becomes suddenly more confused than usual, seek urgent medical advice. Sudden confusion can have causes other than dementia.

Supporting everyday activities

Encourage the person to keep doing things they enjoy and can manage safely.

This might include cooking, gardening, meeting friends or taking part in hobbies.

Offer help when needed, but try to do things together rather than taking over.

People with dementia should have as much choice and control over their lives as possible.

There are simple ways you can help:

  • Give them time to complete tasks at their own pace.

  • Focus on what they can do, rather than what they find difficult.

  • Offer choices about everyday things, such as what to wear or eat.

  • Include them in conversations and decisions.

  • Respect their wishes and preferences.

  • Try to understand what may be causing frustration or distress.

  • Be patient if they need to do things differently.

Not everything needs to be done perfectly. What matters is helping the person feel valued, respected and involved.

As their needs change, you may need to find new ways to support them.

For more advice, visit NHS – Looking after someone with dementia.

Supporting someone with dementia can be rewarding, but it can also be tiring and stressful.

Your health and wellbeing matter too. Getting support can help you continue caring while making time for your own needs.

Making time for yourself

Try to:

  • Make time for activities you enjoy.

  • Keep in touch with friends and family.

  • Take breaks when you can.

  • Ask others to help with caring tasks.

  • Look after your sleep, diet and physical health.

You do not have to manage everything on your own.

Getting support with caring

You can ask your local council for a free carer's assessment.

This looks at how caring affects your life and what support may help you. It can include help with taking breaks, managing work and caring, or looking after your own health.

Find out more about carer's assessments on the NHS website.

If you live in Surrey, you can also visit Surrey County Council's carers support page.

Financial support

Caring for someone may affect your work and finances.

You may be entitled to benefits or other financial help.

Visit GOV.UK benefits calculators to check what support you could receive.

Looking after your mental health

You may sometimes feel worried, sad, angry or overwhelmed.

Talking to someone you trust can help. You may also find it useful to meet other carers who understand what you are going through.

If you are struggling with your mental health, speak to your GP. You can also ask about talking therapies.

Read more about support for carers on the NHS website.

There are organisations that offer advice and support to people caring for someone with dementia.

Dementia support

  • Alzheimer's Society – information, advice and support for people affected by dementia.

  • Dementia UK – specialist dementia advice and support from Admiral Nurses.

Support for carers

Support for children and young people

Children and young people may also need help understanding a family member's dementia diagnosis.

Alzheimer's Research UK provides information about dementia.

You can also contact Action for Carers Surrey for advice about support for young carers.

Planning for emergencies

If you care for someone who depends on you, it can help to make a plan in case you become ill or cannot provide care.

Surrey County Council provides information about support for carers, including its Carer's Emergency Card scheme.

Find out more through Surrey County Council.

You can also speak to your healthcare professional about local support groups and services.